2020-11-12 Surviving to Thriving
Continuing from my last blog post where I shared a more personal story from my childhood, I got another one for you, but this time from adulthood.
When the pandemic hit, it goes without saying that Covid affected millions (billions?) of people around the world.
Once it really became a "thing" in March...
In spite of that though, I can honestly say that I've experienced much worse in my life.
I don't say the above statement lightly, and my intention is not to sound flippant or insensitive. I'm very much aware of, and I acknowledge, the struggles that have been exacerbated for so many people by the pandemic and surrounding events.
I obviously wasn't prepared for a worldwide virus - no one was - but just over two years ago, I had already been pulled through the effin' ringer because I had my own personal combustion happen where I was forced to go through a very dark night of the soul...
In 2018, a 3.5 year relationship ended and legit all other areas of my life got flipped upside down with it.
My personal, home, and work situations went through a massive deconstruction simultaneously.
The break up happened just a few weeks before my 29th birthday, and I decided to be the one to move out. I left the city where all my work was - majorly having to put my ego and pride aside - and came back to the suburbs to stay with my mom (bless her) til I got back on my feet.
For the very first time, "miss discipline" over here had completely lost her ambition...
This experience was so foreign to me, I actually feared that I'd permanently lost my mojo, my motivation, and my drive forever (sounds dramatic but that's seriously how it felt).
It was totally gone - like deficit levels - and tbh I didn't recognize myself in those couple shadow months that followed.
No matter what BS I'd been through previously, I always had my creativity and my dreams to latch on to, to pull me forward... but this time, even that had disappeared. It was an absolutely horrible feeling.
As I moved cities...
- I had to leave one of my main yoga studios and change my job structure around
This weird ass dual-city/juggling situation lasted a year, through all the seasons... an entire, difficult year.
What many people are experienced during Covid this year - relationships ending, home rearrangements, job loss, financial uncertainty, and health problems, all at once...
I'd already waded through the mud of it and gotten out of the trenches. I was far better equipped for 2020 than many.
What got me through all that is knowing that nothing lasts forever. The only thing anyone can ever bank on is that things are always bound to change.
I reminded myself of that every single day and I knew more ease would eventually come.
In the midst of all that, 10 months later (Summer 2019) I had one of the best experiences of my life travelling to Greece and Bali. I didn't plan on celebrating my birthday in Indonesia and then coming back home to my mom's place at the newly ripened age of 30, but such was life.
The day I got back home to Canada, I did something I said I'd never do - I went on Accutane after 15+ years of on/off (mostly on) skin struggles (and having tried f*cking literally everything else) to start a new chapter for myself.
I'm not ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it. Life can be unfair folks, welcome to the humanity club. Going on Accutane actually changed my quality of life by giving me the most incredible skin and I'm so grateful every day for it.
The next day after I got back from Bali was also when I started waking up at 4:45am to meditate for 50 days straight. Peace of mind, peace in body.
A couple months later I finally ended up moving back to Vancouver, this time on my own.
Right when things were looking up, just two freakin' days after I signed the apartment lease, some things went down that led me to quit my other main studio on the spot...
I was forced to strengthen my emotional resolve yet again, and because of that, I had built an even stronger, more bulletproof resiliency, trusting in myself that I'd be able to figure things out, and do it quickly.
I further sharpened my skills to manage my inner psychological and emotional world with the seemingly ceaseless curveballs that kept launching toward me...
Long story long, that very same day, I ended up tripling my private/corporate client sessions which was a massive blessing.
I also truly believe I manifested these opportunities through my dedicated meditations and visualizations.
"If you can see it in your head, you can hold it in your hands." - Bob Proctor
Eventually, my creativity and drive came back in full force and I started up the journey yet again of fulfilling my dreams and making sh*t happen.
Because of my hardships and knowing what it feels like to be in a dark hole, once I came out of it, I became even more determined to:
- Live a meaningful life by giving more selflessly to others
Now that we're in month 9+ of this "new normal" (what's normal anyway?) I know a lot of people have been rocked. And it's been more than okay and necessary to take ample time to cope and adjust.
The time has come, however, that many of us are itching to really start living again.
We want to gain momentum, reconnect to our purpose, and go after our ideas with a renewed vitality and enthusiasm.
If you feel lost as to where or how to start, I'm here to help guide you through this.
The announcement of my long-awaited program is finally coming next week...